Rishta brigade in action

Recession was a blessing in disguise for many of us. It showed my parents how a majors in economics and finance will become a copywriter, it showed how working at home is much cooler and pours all the money on you and it also brought the sales person inside many of us to the world.

They say there is no business like show business that’s totally correct because I started sales in the “show” business. Let me make it easy I started arranging meetings between prospective bride and groom by offering my services. Well that is true “show” business. For the simple folks the fact will always be that weddings are rooted upon the show and shaa business of bride and groom not only bride and groom but the speculating of money, dowry and other evils. We have heard this line a million times “ aaj larkey wale dekhne arahey hain”( the boy’s family will come to see us) having the experience of tea and biscuit with random people I decided about role reversal. Yes with an unmarried status I set down with the rishta bureau in my hands. The first retort that I heard was “ chiragh tale andhera” which means (darkness below the lamp post) and I was like yes please because I am done with acting like a cattle in the market. It was nerve wrecking to answer how was my school, what did I study and how many times mommy changed my diapers when I was two!! Ok the last bit was exaggeration. Nevertheless I was over with my drawing room fun and it was time to find a new job.

So with a laptop, a big network on facebook and my stalking skills I formed my colleagues and perfect candidates for this business. Well the show business has given me immense learning of human resource planning, personal grooming and yes a huge stock of personal and private jokes.  The rishta brigade is working on simple principle of making the boy meet the girl and exclude scrutinizing mommy, ravenous brother and helpless daddy.

Our first business was a super Disaster YES! But obviously we succeeded after that so all of you who want to know how rishta brigade has carved its niche stick around for we will update you with all our details.

Someone to own their name and their country

A couple of days back I read something which gave me the glow of patriotism inside out, amidst the drone attacks, brain drain and hunt for greener pastures something still instigated the feeling that this too shall pass. Read to inject some tranquility around..

MERA PAKISTAN CONFERENCE 2011: A REMARKABLE SUCCESS

As a first step towards the changing of people’s perception about Pakistan, Old Students’ Association of Government College of Commerce and Economics (COMMECS), in collaboration with Karachi Chamber of Commerce & Industry (KCCI), has organized “Mera Pakistan Conference 2011” in Karachi.

This conference provided an opportunity for the business community, academics, industry professionals, government officials and policy makers, to share their love of the land and exchange ideas to develop a new vision for the future of this country.

Aside from highlighting many natural and human resources of Pakistan, facts & figures were also presented about various sectors of business, trade and industry as well as the opportunities available to entrepreneurs and visionaries.

Some leading professionals of Pakistan were present among the participants which include, Dr. Samar Mubarak Mand, Dr. Atta ur-Rahman, Dr. Ishrat Hussain, Dr. Akram Shaikh, Mr. Jahangir Khan Tareen, Mr. Ashraf Kapadia, Mr. Zubair Motiwala, Mr. Gohar Ejaz, Mr. Hussain Lawai, and many others.

Dr. Samar Mubarak Mand, a renowned scientist and an associate of Planning Commission, presented a detailed overview on the importance of coal to generate power and advised that industrialists may overcome energy problems by installing coal gasification plants.

Dr. Atta-ur-Rehman, former head of Higher Education Commission, shed light on Pakistan’s progress and development, through proper education system, education of science & technology, to enable innovation and entrepreneurship through visionary, honest & technologically competent leadership.

Dr. Ishrat Hussain, former governor of State Bank of Pakistan, said that there is a great need to provide financing to small farmers and SME and services sectors as these are the three main pillars that will lead Pakistan to the next level of development.

Jahangir Khan Tareen, an agriculturist and former minister, emphasized on the need to bring revolutionary changes in the agriculture sector of Pakistan to increase crop yield through research and development projects.

Hussain Lawai, president of Summit Bank, said that the country’s progress demanded creation of venture capital funds and revival of development finance institutions (DFIs).

Siraj Kassam Teli, a distinguished Pakistani industrialist and former president of the Karachi Chamber of Commerce and Industry, Saeed Shafiq, president of KCCI, and Asim Arif, president of COMMECS also spoke on the occasion.

According to the organizers this conference will open the doors towards creating a better image of Pakistan among the comity of the nations.

Of ripe catches in shaadi market

 

It will come as no surprise to me if Justin Beiber is married and our country celebrates that; well many amongst us think that Justin is a girl.The point under discussion is wedding, shaaadi, marriage in other words the license to a girl’s existence in Pakistan.

Shaadi in our country is synonymus with life, with heaven, religion, parosi competition or maybe boredom. Hate it love it shaadi is the epicenter of this country.

As a teenager when I read articles of Single Woman over Twenty who later on used the pseudonym of Single Woman over Thirty I used to wonder this woman is selling masala to newspaper readers. But today when I stand there above twenty with all the nonchalance and maturity both, I see that I was wrong and the writer was correct. When I looked 98% of twenty plus girls with a single status  were a matter of national crisis. Once the girl hits her twenties and actually knows how to carry herself in society our set of intelligent parents suddenly loose their sanity; and well if they don’t your neighbors, relatives, relative’s neighbors and neighbor’s relatives, shopkeepers, driver oh yes you will gasp even the important tailor and beauty parlour wali all will make sure to make your parents get rid of their sanity, their agenda is the single girl’s status.

 When I spoke to my other unmarried friends I realized that all girls were traumatized by the society with the big question mark with a capital M space when?

According to L… well yes u guessed right she is a loser too but yes L a woman who married her daughter off at 29 says “ I married my chirya at a young age, your daughter is working… don’t you know working girls loose their position in the market because they are more independent and know more of world” .My qualms are not that she shrinks her daughter’s age, no issues that she calls working girls cunning because only sharper ones will move in this world; what infuriates me is her mentality the word MARKET. Shaadi market and that a nice rishta is a catch.

So much for aunties, my own friend wrote on our mutual friend’s facebook wall to get married soon because her youth was waning. Yes a friend, alas, a married one.

The thing is that our generation does not shun marriage. We believe marriage is a continuous cycle of happiness one friend gets married and gets others a lot of happiness and then the infection spreads we all get married and enjoy the marital bliss. I have guy friends who are married at the age of 24 which is super cool when the guy and girl know its good then the wedlock is the bets thing to happen. But when the right of enjoying our freedom is marred from all sides then it gets messy. I am living victim of this issue, where my parents are supportive but the ones around them are not.

 It is like as if we are fruits that will go bad if not sold at the right time. If early marriages were the guarantee of happiness then well many of us will be short of horror stories that we share with French fries on a day out with friends and spice it up with “ dekh ker shaadi karo” type comments.

Nevertheless as I write I know this will change when I have my kids and when I will not even let the cat meow at my daughter and tell her in the secret language to get married. But as L puts it “ bache toh tab houn na jab waqt per shaadi hogi kachi umar main shaadi kardo ziada pakka phal acha nahin”

( one has kids when they get married on time; over ripe fruits are never liked)

Yes those who want to murder L…CONTACT ME I HAVE HER NUMBER 

Sh(ak)eela ki jawaani

 Once munni is exhausted, it’s the turn of our local sheela’s oops SHAKEELA to be teased. Ok fine its just my creative mind that I kept shakeela on my caption but the point is; be it shakeela, tequila or for that matter mathira all women in Pakistan are subject to harassment.

The unique named women Arishey, Parishey or Farkhanda , Joshanda none have been spared of this. Somebody just slice my fingers before I type how the jawaani is chased at work places and universities!!

I am not going to carp that how these women dress up. Provocative or simple to the core; the point is women are subject to harassment here. The ones wearing a good layer of clothes are not even spared of the sleazy looks they get from 360 degrees.

Lets face it women on TV don’t dress up all covered and layered but hello… neither does the “firangan” shopping and filling her trolley at Agha’s but the same firangan might get a smile from you while a desi wearing the same clothes will see your eyes brimming with lust…. Why so ?? Either splash the firangan with your lust or spare the shakeela of your country.

 Still not convinced?? Eh ok….

The huge uproar about Mathira and her dressing is total dichotomy because we see other music channels showing a bunch of teenagers sitting VERY close with the opposite sex wearing revealing clothes and talking about love and relationships only as if the world has no chaos to deal with; nobody ever says that this sort of programming is wrong why???

Because they get decent callers….well APPARENTLY decent callers; while Mathira gets shopkeepers to call her… where are the differences anyway? both do the same. One clique is burger class the other is lower middle class and at the end of it all the regular women our shakeelas bear the brunt of their undeniable jawaani.

Be it work colleagues, bus conductors or teachers women face the trouble of unending teasing from all angles.

The purple satin of office politics

The best way to find new topics for a blog is definitely when you are alone. My silly habit of going to a coffee shop with a book has earned me profound insight of workplace culture in Pakistan. Not that I have not lived in Pakistan for long, rather I never left Pakistan but my work experience is of the size of a midget. So I rely on my passive work experience; that is eavesdropping on other people’s work conditions, which is good enough for me to supplement my experiences at workplaceJ.

So as the dusky babe sitting on the next table was uttering expletives I figured out the poor soul was actually not wrong. Her boss whom she referred as ugly duckling was a total dragon. It turned out, that the most creative professions were getting uglier by the day. Shama the sultry girl was working in the PR company where she was to bring out of the box ideas for the clients and their positive images. Since I was doing PR for my former company I very well could figure out what she wanted to say. Poor Shama formed best ideas for clients, worked hard on bringing the most novel ideas for not only brands but also good renowned people…I so wanted to tell her that the world is small and she should not be spilling details out in public..But poor girl, I could easily reckon she is so quitting the job that she is giving flying farts to her illustrious employer. Anyway, Shama’s boss had easily taken her hard work credit away from her in the eyes of the top management. “She is a b****, bloody purple satin I hate her politics” uttered Shama, for a moment I wanted to tell her not to besmirch her own self in public, but I am sure she would have sworn at me too. So I flippantly, turned the page of my inane book since Shama’s life was so colorful the plot of the book seemed totally dead.

Once Shama was pacified my thinking machine was getting restless, as to how the working ethics in Pakistan have dwindled. Just yesterday I heard my own self saying to a friend about some other girl at work “she has slept her way to success” today I realized how easily I maligned someone. It was about a girl’s dignity but just because we both don’t get along and we both are in the same team how could I say that about her. Her working mode is different from me and just because I do not like her work I was so spiteful. The dilemma is that office politics grows exponentially when the office is loaded with women. It is not, that men are saints just that I want to border my view point on women. Why it is that even a profession such as teaching is totally embroidered with politics, making a lobby of teachers who will thwart the other gang to not be appreciated anywhere; in front of the principal, other parents for that matter even students. Family politics was always there it is a fact like we all are to have nose on our faces. But, office politics was a fact that was realized after many a years of its existence. It is now that women after entering the man’s world are ruining it even more. Stealing credits, getting chummier with higher ups, tweaking the office policies for their own convenience all is rampant. Again, men have been active office politicians. But, women have serious ulterior motives because if once they are hurt they will avenge it over and over again.

It is like a rerun of your vengeance; they just don’t let go of their anger for their enemy (read the female coworker who did something wrong once). The point is one thing leads to the chain reaction of hatred. The politics in women at work is equivalent to weapons of mass destruction, because even when the less liked ones leave the office, their deeds are recapped, and talked about. The point is the politics gets DIRTY. The more I talk about it, the more flaws I find firstly in my own self and then around me. *sigh* the silky soft satin synonymous with women and nice things about them is now the embellishment of office politics, the paragon of being wicked…

What’s running in his head

Ever wondered what a guy sees in you for the first time… when you enter the café or the classroom or maybe the supposed new office for the interview. The results are in sharp contrast to the things you fret over.

What he perceives of you is well too different from what you are detailing about. Men see at things in package deal, which does not mean you and your friend together for him!! No, incase he is not a pervert but a girl inside out top to bottom. You always think that why are you not rated as the most desirable by them, well think again something is wrong about you maybe your first impression!!

You have to stop playing I SEE… HE SAW game; make it a game in which you are not see – sawing, you are just winning!!

Thinking pattern of a man is something like of a kid trying to see the fancy items in the mart carefully settled on the aisle bearing the color coordination in mind by the store manager’s acumen. Similarly, men see the whole package, this does not mean that you walk out with dirty feet or hairy arms but yes firstly, you have to fill in yourself with that positivism which will burn all calories and negativity inside you. I will explain it with a few examples, look around and you will find this true on your own too and once you crack the code you can easily understand what impressions you have left.

Eyes:

You see - Given any opportunity you will somehow put some makeup on it, be it a fine line or think coat of mascara.

He sees - If your eyes look sad, the shine is lost and the dark eye shadows match the black of his tie. Makeup won’t hide your reality so go light with the makeup and heavy with your happiness.

Bottom line: They like happy women who are just living life and managing troubles yet not giving up.

Hair

You see - If your hair is straight or the in vogue messy style, because you want to epitomize the fashion of today. You will count your split ends and each time promise to snip them once the boss lets you off hook.

He sees - If your hair is not sparse and good to touch. If he wants to smell them or by any means wants to feel them since they are not dry, lady you are in utopia otherwise do not go out with your dry hair out… they all have dusters at home please do not offer a new one to them.

Bottom line: Men today want women who exude confidence with their real selves. A big mohawk full of sticky products will very much tune him out. They do not want dolls; their sisters let them play with them ages ago.

Smile:

You see - Your smile should not broaden your already 12 acre nose, and therefore you want to make a small line on your face. With the passage of years you have only looked more constipated right!

They see - A man is totally baffled with a beautiful smile,which certainly does not mean that we take cosmetic help for Julia Roberts dimples, but yes a genuine warm smile is what is the new come hither. Batting yor eye lashes will only indicate that you use inferior quality mascara but a warm smile will tell him that the sun kisses your feet first and then walk out shining.

Bottom line: what you have been told that a smiling lady misses the most shots, since she seems approachable well, put that verse in the trash can. It’s just that the smiling woman aims for the best so losing the lamer ones is never bad.

Similarly, what you might see in your figure, your height and sense of dressing might actually not even be registered by them and they are looking at you in a totally different way remember they are wired.

A man sees a woman in many other ways like her figure her curves, yes he does dirty thinking we all know it’s a cliché now. But there is more than that, he will see your personality your laughter your sense of contentment, ambitions and accomplishments, aims and energy for future. Yes he will not want a woman caked with makeup or baring her cleavage for the whole nation but he will definitely want someone who has put some effort to look good.

Women today, have gone crazy to get that attention but the simple facts of happiness have been ignored, to all of you the only tip is be yourself and be happy; there is nothing more attractive than a happy person with an infectious warm aura around herself. He only wants to be more happy right? And that comes when you are happy.  

“I think he likes you” said Asma as soon as I hung up on Kashaf my colleague. Totally baffled by the love premonition from an old chum I could only manage “what makes you think so” and came that sagacious smile that most people tend to throw when they think they are right.

“Well.. you know a lot of things , like lately you mention him a lot his calls are all so frequent your  social movements are with him be it some new eatery or a launch” sang my friend in a minute. In a minute I recapped all my activities, saw the film of my life rewind sans the annoying tape voice shown in movies.

Gosh so that’s how they think I wonder and then settle down to think to undo it somehow.

Now when I sit down to pen my memoirs for my best colleague I can only recall times when I have had a total blast with him. If they choose to call it love , I do not care much because don’t we all love our girlfriends to death, we are there for their hair disasters for a mass swearing when the tailor screws up the sheer yards of expensive fabric or their crushes are with someone else.

Our personal problems are that invisible baggage that we carry with ourselves even in our sleep, our professional problems maybe shelved for a while but personal problems come with us to our work too and finding anyone who cares to carefully examine that bag and then perk you up definitely tops the list of loved ones.

So the likes of Kashaf are found rarely they are those rare pearls whom you first fail to recognize in the office clutter but once you find them and know their worth the only thing you can do is wear them with pride because they become your best friends.

Life is a riddle that should be solved with people that one is comfortable with; passing in the labyrinth and making every moment a cherished one.

Friendship between a guy and a girl might bloom into the flower of love but the manure behind is the constant feeding from our own circle, once our peers see that we are becoming too good a chum with each other they decide to compartmentalize the camaraderie their ways; that is LOVE.

To refute the L word the more I fight the more messy it gets, I can only say that love is what we care and we care the most for our family and friends and if my friend is an xy chromosome shoot me strangle me or kill me, but I won’t stop caring for the one who made a happy face out of my tears and gave me rose glasses to see the world and fight it.