It will come as no surprise to me if Justin Beiber is married and our country celebrates that; well many amongst us think that Justin is a girl.The point under discussion is wedding, shaaadi, marriage in other words the license to a girl’s existence in Pakistan
Shaadi in our country is synonymus with life, with heaven, religion, parosi competition or maybe boredom. Hate it love it shaadi is the epicenter of this country.
As a teenager when I read articles of Single Woman over Twenty who later on used the pseudonym of Single Woman over Thirty I used to wonder this woman is selling masala to newspaper readers. But today when I stand there above twenty with all the nonchalance and maturity both, I see that I was wrong and the writer was correct. When I looked 98% of twenty plus girls with a single status were a matter of national crisis. Once the girl hits her twenties and actually knows how to carry herself in society our set of intelligent parents suddenly loose their sanity; and well if they don’t your neighbors, relatives, relative’s neighbors and neighbor’s relatives, shopkeepers, driver oh yes you will gasp even the important tailor and beauty parlour wali all will make sure to make your parents get rid of their sanity, their agenda is the single girl’s status.
When I spoke to my other unmarried friends I realized that all girls were traumatized by the society with the big question mark with a capital M space when?
According to L… well yes u guessed right she is a loser too but yes L a woman who married her daughter off at 29 says “ I married my chirya at a young age, your daughter is working… don’t you know working girls loose their position in the market because they are more independent and know more of world” .My qualms are not that she shrinks her daughter’s age, no issues that she calls working girls cunning because only sharper ones will move in this world; what infuriates me is her mentality the word MARKET. Shaadi market and that a nice rishta is a catch.
So much for aunties, my own friend wrote on our mutual friend’s facebook wall to get married soon because her youth was waning. Yes a friend, alas, a married one.
The thing is that our generation does not shun marriage. We believe marriage is a continuous cycle of happiness one friend gets married and gets others a lot of happiness and then the infection spreads we all get married and enjoy the marital bliss. I have guy friends who are married at the age of 24 which is super cool when the guy and girl know its good then the wedlock is the bets thing to happen. But when the right of enjoying our freedom is marred from all sides then it gets messy. I am living victim of this issue, where my parents are supportive but the ones around them are not.
It is like as if we are fruits that will go bad if not sold at the right time. If early marriages were the guarantee of happiness then well many of us will be short of horror stories that we share with French fries on a day out with friends and spice it up with “ dekh ker shaadi karo” type comments.
Nevertheless as I write I know this will change when I have my kids and when I will not even let the cat meow at my daughter and tell her in the secret language to get married. But as L puts it “ bache toh tab houn na jab waqt per shaadi hogi kachi umar main shaadi kardo ziada pakka phal acha nahin”
( one has kids when they get married on time; over ripe fruits are never liked)
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